Wednesday, April 15, 2009

From Our Accountant...

Dear Mrs. ________,

It was very kind of you to bring your tax materials to our office at 4:45 this afternoon but quite frankly I'm not sure what you thought we could do for you. While I understand you might not have heard that tax day is April 15th, some of the material you brought in ranges from the perplexing to the reprehensible.

Under your profession you wrote "Taxidermist (just kidding). MILF (just kidding). Blogger (LOL ROTF)." What do you mean by this? The IRS emphatically does not appreciate humor, ambiguity or narrative content in your tax return. 

You list 3 dependents (one of which is a highly dependent dyspeptic feline), so I'm assuming that you have children under your care when you're not too busy blogging.

Spa treatments, massages and facials do not count as unreimbursed medical expenses and soreness from your pilates class does not count as a disability.

No, you cannot receive your refund in gold bouillon, and to answer your question you can't get an additional refund for your share of the stimulus packages.

You actually owe taxes and as I told you last year, you can't pay for it in Kinzcash.


Dewey Cheetham

Your Accountant


Julie said...

Those IRS rules are SO unfair. Congrats on being featured on SITS (I'm fashionably late, just in case you're wondering)

Ms.Emily said...

I found you via SITS thought i'd come say hello.

this made me laugh. thanks for sharing.


Vodka Mom said...

congrats on the sits shout out!!!!

WOO HOO!!!!!

The Clever Pup said...

Hi Laurel,

Thanks for dropping by my site.

Tax day is in two weeks here in Canada. So the rush is on.

I remember those stickers that came with gum. I still remember 6up instead of 7up and everytime I buy apples sauce I think of Mutts Apple sauce instead of Motts.

You got a lot of comments on that one.


Jaime said...

This is tooooo funny! Love it. I'm over from SITS... I know, I know, a day late and a dollar short. Blame the IRS!

Lacey said...

Haha great post. I'm glad I found your blog through SITS!

Southern Bride To Be said...

Found you through SITS!


MuseSwings said...

LOL! I see nothing wrong with any of your answers. It's a free country. Those guys need to lighten up. You mean I shouldn't have claimed my pedicures????? Rat's. I'll have to pray to the saint of Tax Audits. Who do you suppos is in charge of that? Prob St. Jude.

Stalker v1.5 said...

Awesome post, hilarious!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

He's right about one thing... no sense of humor!!

Kami said...

I don't think any of those responses will trigger an Audit of Tremendous you?
Haha, great post :)

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Happy SITS day one day late. I'm always a dollar short and a day late. SO can you loan me a dollar? :-)

Nikki said...

Such an imagination! This is awesome.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've heard of this Dewey Cheatham guy. Isn't he on Car Talk? Isn't it Dewey Cheatham and How? :)

Anyway, I wonder if I could get away with that blogger too. Hmmmmm. Gets me thinking for next year.

Life, Love And Lola said...

LMAO! This post rocks!

Life, Love And Lola said...

P.S. I totally think we should be able to write off massages ans pedis!!!

isk8jewel said...

Too funny! Visiting from SITS. :)

Ann's Rants said...

Brilliant! Kinzcash...ha.

South City Studio said...

You're HILARIOUS. :)

*mary* said...

Wait a minute... They don't accept Kinzcash? Then how come my refund WAS Kinzcash? Something isn't right.

~Kristen~ said...

Congrats on being featured on SITS!!! Your blog is hilarious!!!

c'est Moi! the tink-n-frog said...

I personally think that massages and facial should be listed as preventative health practices. Maybe the IRS needs a massage then they might get a sense of humor. =)

Poetikat said...

You want your refund in French soup? (Sorry, I could NOT resist!)

I wonder if I can claim my four cats as dependents?

MILF - ROTFHMS (You and me, BK! You and me, only in my case it's more like MALLILTCMD - Middle-Aged lady I'd like to cook my dinner!


Poetikat said...

Wacky packages! How did I miss that reference?


Blicky Kitty said...

Thanks Julie and Emily, I appreciate the visits!

VM thanks it sure was a fun day!

Clever Pup, your blog is gor-geous!

Jaime Lacie, Southern Bride to be, Texan Mama, I really appreciate the visits. It's so much fun to have people reading stuff.

Thanks Nikki, and Stalker!

I think that wuld be Saint Severius Cynthia~!

Thanks Stalker!

Blicky Kitty said...

Unfinished Rambler, yes that is unabashedly pilfered from Click and Clack. I think they were the ones that stuck a Dewy Cheetham and Howe sign up on Brattle St. in Cambridge.

L, L & Lola I agree whole-heartedly!

Isk8jewell, South City Studio, Kristin thanks so much for the visit!

Hi again Roshni! I know~ humorless thugs!

@ Ann and Mary! Unfortunately it doesn't work yet but I'm lobbying for Kinzcash to become a publically traded currency.

C'est moi, je pense que spa visits sont totally covered par the government en France. Let's all move there!

Hahah Kat mine would be MILTHMMLWIEHHB (mother i'd like to have make me laugh while I eat her homemade brownies)

Reluctant Housewife said...

funny stuff!

Paige Pendleton said...

Good stuff!

I know it is April 15th every year when Richard comes sliding in the driveway sideways and spraying gravel like a bad remake of the Dukes of Hazard at 4:20 and yelling "COME SIGN THIS SO I CAN CATCH THE POST OFFICE!"

Anonymous said...

The first step is as good as half over.

The Australian National University

Anonymous said...

One's real value first lies in to what degree and what sense he set himself.