Friday, April 17, 2009

Wacky Packages for a New Era

For some time, I've been aspiring to create a Wacky Packages line for our new era, but no sooner had I created this, Blicky decided to buy the rights and create an actual toy product for girls. He thinks these things will sell even better than another product of a different name...

He feels that until now, little girls had no idea what to tell their plastic surgeons when they grew up so this is actually a public service. He also feels that he's helping society by teaching little girls that the of the color of your skin doesn't matter; they can all aspire to sluttiness. He hired a bunch of models to promote the new line. They even agreed to have their noses surgically removed and their lips enhanced with permanent shellac. One of the unfortunate side effects from the procedures is that their feet now fall off, but luckily they are a cheerful bunch.


18 comments:

Kami said...

O-M-G, this is funny! I *HATE* bratz dolls. You, are awesome. Period.

Yaya said...

Yes, we can all aspire to sluttiness. What a valuable life lesson.

Kitten said...

I was at the mall the other day and I saw some 13-year-olds (they had to be around that age) wearing PUSH-UP BRAS. Sad.

Shawn said...

It's about time there was a doll that showed young girls that it doesn't so much matter what you think of yourself, it only matters what boys think of you. You've done the world a service.

Jenn Thorson said...

Yup, it's satire, but it's also just a bit too close to being 100% true. :)

Let's see, if big lips, big eyes and no noses are what's in right now-- what do you think will be next?

An absence of nostrils? Because y'know, air intake is so over-rated. :)

DouglasDyer said...

If you can get razor stubble on their cooters I'll take five of them. I appreciate realism.

c'est Moi! the tink-n-frog said...

And after all it is the oldest profession... see what a service Blicky Kitty is doing

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

you definitely need feet to put those 700$ shoes in!!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Do their feet fall off because of the weight of those honkin' shoes? Or do they just have poorly designed ankles?

MuseSwings said...

That second from the left looks suspiciously like Octo-mom. Only the lips actually, but still.
Perhapts some pink athletic tape will help them keep their feets on.

Ann's Rants said...

Now with smaller noses...LOVE it.

Nikki said...

I am in love with your blog. In LOVE!

Blicky Kitty said...

:) Thanks Kami, yeah they're barred from entering our house -- although I think someone snuck in a foot!

Yaya, Shawn, C'est Moi yes it's a public service and it's all for the children.

@Kitten ewww!

@Jenn : What do you do when the style changes. Maybe that'[s what happened to Michael Jackson.

Oh no I think you're right Cynthia!

Nikki thanks so much!

Ribbon said...

Just to put your mind as ease... the feet don't actually fall off, they're just neatly placed in their chests.

:-) Oh to be a "Slutz"

Ribbon

Hit 40 said...

Those are creepy dolls!!!

The Self-Deprechaun said...

BAHHAHA

STD-tested! thank god, you don't want your kids getting VDs by playing with them.

so funny! MAO!

Vince said...

Wow! Haha! Now with smaller noses AND STD tested! What a great service Blicky is doing! Haha! Great post! Will share this with friends.

www.MotivatedMonkey.com

Taja said...

'now with smaller noses, STD tested'

hahaha! Great blog. It made me laugh. Plus, I can relate. I have little cousins who aspire to look like bratz dolls *shudders*.