1) 1 Blicky Swiffer thing
2) 1 cloth diaper (preferably with the baby detached)
3) 1 bottle of green cleaner or Blicky Brand alternate (1 part vinegar/1 part water)
Have your human affix said de-babied diaper to plastic hole thingy in aforementioned Swiffer.
Readjust your self-esteem based on the cleanliness of your house, your weight and your cat's assessments of both.