Monday, June 30, 2008

Win your picture taken with Blicky!

The email rumor mills are off and running! I have gotten a few email forwards lately from some relatives in our clowder who live in conservative retirement communities.

So let's jump into the fray! At least we'll balance things a bit. Winning entries will be about any candidate except Obama and will be lavishly forwarded by the Blicky Kitty staff in conservative retirement communities.

Blicky has agreed to have his picture taken with the winner.
I've discovered a few good things that go into a good email rumor: 
1) Use an unflattering picture of your target and crop it weird. It makes them look shady -- like they've been caught by a private detective.
2) Use fonts to punctuate each point because your audience might not read and because they might resent your elitist good grammar.
3) Use fear to make your argument, then make a gigantic illogical leap. For example: John McCain is pro-life, he is against gay marriage (do a Google search to bolster your list of examples or just make some up and lie about the news source, like "he was quoted by NBC as saying he hates America") and he was against the granting of habeas corpus to prisoners of war. Therefore (gigantic illogical leap), JOHN McCAIN HATES FREEDOM. Hey... wait a second, terrorists hate freedom. Oh my God! JOHN McCAIN IS A TERRORIST!!! Your font size and color should go nutty at this point. If you could make it flash and put in any cute dancing animals that would be a bonus. 
4) Now would be a good place to throw in any photo edits you're able to generate -- such as your target strangling a kitten. Don't worry if your skills at Photoshop aren't as subtle and sophisticated as mine. It just takes practice.
5) You should always end a good email by telling them that they should forward this to everyone they know or they will contract an incurable, painful, fatal illness by midnight.

Please email your entries to

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