Blicky Scores Interview with Author Ron Chernow

Blicky: Read book, Alexander Hamilton, mao.

Chernow: Thank you Blicky, but I published that years ago. Don't you want to discuss my work on the great families of history in the context of the current economic crisis?

Blicky: No. 

Maooo your account of Hamilton’s life chronicles reveals his remarkable ascent to power but also serves as a lurid chronicle of tragedy, betrayal and scandal.

Chernow: Um, Thanks?

Blicky: Maoo really formidable intellect for human.

Chernow: Well, yes Blicky. He was born an illegitimate child in the West Indies. He started out his career orphaned, alone and broke and within a short span of time he became a successful businessman, earned a law degree and became George Washington’s Chief of Staff. He went on to become one of New York’s most successful lawyers, he authored the Federalist Papers, and he constructed the basis for our modern economic system as Treasury Secretary. 

Blicky: Mao, cure cancer too?

Chernow: Blicky, did you even read my book?

Blicky: Mao.

Chernow: The thing I tried to convey was that we don't learn as much about Hamilton as the other founding fathers partly because his political foes, such as John Adams and Thomas Jefferson outlived him. He made some tragic personal and political mistakes, but he was really the first to see that our strength as a nation would only be possible when we became a world economic power.
Blicky: Mao, give all gossip.

Chernow: Blicky, my work isn't about gossip. Hamiton's career was tragically sullied by an unfortunate affair with the young Maria (pronounced Mariah) Reynolds. Apparently she called at Hamilton's home in great distress, lamenting that she had been abandoned by a perfidious and cruel husband and required assistance to return to her friends. Hamilton being ever the gentleman, arranged to meet her later at her home where she received him upstairs and led him into a bedroom. He presented her with a banknote and as he himself wrote, "Some conversation ensued from which it was quickly apparent that other than pecuniary consolation would be acceptable."

Martha, you must divulge to me everything forthwith. Is it true she wears her bodice in the French fashion?

The bizarre part of the affair was that it went on for so long, even when the husband found out. Even when the husband began to bribe Hamilton. Even when Maria proved herself a tad bit unstable. Even when her husband, after Hamilton's interest seemed to flag, switched from being an aggrieved husband to a quasi-pimp/con artist. It almost seems as if Hamilton was seized with a sexual obsession which serves as a puzzling counterpoint to a brilliant career in public life.

Blicky: That would never happen today. Mao, great gossip Chernow. Knew you'd hook me up, mao.

Chernow: Blicky I resent the implication that I engage in gossip!

Blicky: Detected slight homoerotic subtext running through the book as well.

Chernow: That's it, Blicky this interview is over. Now if you'll just introduce me to Doris Kearns Goodwin as you promised.

Blicky: Ooops, forgot to mention that she'd won't be here today but will attend the inauguration festivities over at Muse Swings. 

Chernow: Damn you Blicky!! Damn you!!