Creature Double Feature

I was reading my bloggy friend Debby's wonderful tirade about Ann Coulter the other day and it made me think about Godzilla and the other monsters on Creature Double Feature on Boston's Channel 56. Well, not exactly in the way you think. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that she isn't a venomous reptilian fire breathing succubus, but thinking about Ann Coulter got me thinking about fear and how we deal with it.

 

We all have "monsters" that frighten us as kids, haunt our thoughts. I won't admit how old I was before I stopped taking running leaps off the bed so the monster underneath couldn't grab my ankles. As a group or a nation, our fears can be distilled into powerful metaphors. The ancient Greeks feared the unpredictability of nature — the hostile winds, a mercurial and uncharted sea — and these fears coalesced into the menagerie of sea creatures that slithered across mosaic walls and amphoras. From the 2nd century AD onwards people began their attempt to catalogue these fears, the unknown in the world and make sense of them with respect to their faith. The Hydrus in the Workshop Bestiary (the pages of which I've had the pleasure of touching) at the Morgan Library is shown being eaten by a crocodile. 

These were used as moral lessons for an illiterate public. The crocodile represents death and hell and the Hydrus is a symbol for Jesus who descended into hell, then burst out dealing a blow to death itself. For later artists perhaps their monsters were the less tangible fears of human passion as they delighted in rendering the eroticism of the helpless Andromeda and the destructive force of the beast.

Joachim Wiewael, Perseus and Andromeda, 1630

Perseus and Andromeda, Frederic Leighton, 1891

For me and my young contemporaries near the greater Boston area, our monsters were Godzilla, Mothra (my favorite), Megaguirus or Orga who would duke it out every Saturday afternoon at the Creature Double Feature. Of course I just found the cheezy effects, delayed voice-overs and over-the-top narratives funny and campy, but on another level they were pretty potent symbols for their age. They represent the angst of the nuclear age. Japan, having felt the effects of nuclear war generated these powerful and moralizing symbols of the destructive power of the hydrogen bomb through the medium of film. Maybe we should've taken more notes when we watched the smog monster. He's still apparently lurking about:

I know, I know I'm getting back to Ann Coulter. Blicky's been a little worried about Ann and her pals lately. How will they fare now that the inauguration has renewed our pesky sense of hope? Fear is their bread and butter. A lot of us got the scary, specious emails during the run up to the election. Obama Hussein (subliminal fear) is a secret Muslim and the world is going to be destroyed (subliminal fear) by his evil plots. Their warnings are starting to go unheaded as the country watches him being a pretty good guy, nice dad.. cute kids. I know Blicky's really worried now. What will Ann do? Rush will enjoy a fine roll with this he-didn't-really-get-sworn-in nonsense. Blicky's been hard at work creating a new beast for his muse, Ann, the lovely (vitriol spewing) Andromeda. What monster could be so foul, so fiendish as to reawaken the fears and angst of a nation?

Not buying it? I know. I told Blicky the same thing. Maybe he should have written that Al "wants wants to eat Christmas and outlaw your money" instead. I don't know. We'll let Blicky worry about that. On Debby's suggestion, here's one that we're all scared of:

In Which Blicky Subverts the Meme

No Blicky!!! I said we were going to subvert the meme, not bludgeon the mime. Silly Kitty!

OK lately I've been reading a few wonderful twists on the meme. Check out the numbers over at The Daily Egg. Merrill's worked it all out, and basically if everyone obediently passes along their various memes (25 things about me), it doesn't take long before all the known universe is participating. The Unfinished Rambler decided to turn the standard meme into 25 Things I've Learned About You, Blogoshpere, Since I've Gotten Here, Wherever the Hell Here Is.

Cynthia over at Muse Swings posted a sort of meme where you create a dialogue with the Good Wife's Guide; a list excepted from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly. Although I love to read them, I usually demur from posting memes because they feel suspiciously like a high school senior page. I’m inspired by these creative twists though so here it goes.

Since the world is my own personal all-you-can-eat salad bar, I'm just going to pick and choose from the fun memes:

Prague, July 1990

1. I once got locked in a high-rise apartment building on the outskirts of Prague by a vodka-sodden guy named Izzy with blood rimmed eyes.
2. I love to make my own yogurt.
4. I’m six feet tall and wear boots most days to conceal the fact that my flippin’ pants are all too short at present.

5. A friend and I once hitched a ride from Madrid to Toledo on the backs of motorcycles driven by a South African and a Yorkshire bloke who swore with impressive gusto.

6. My last paying job was translating laser technology for some nice fellows from Northern Italy. If you ever need to explain to a friend in Genoa how to configure their laser for a seam wield on steel, email me.

7. Being a church lady makes me really happy.

8. I was there on the day they opened the Brandenberg gates in Berlin.

9. It just doesn’t feel right if a day goes by and I haven’t talked to my mom.

10. I like to run distance races and I love pilates so much even my teacher thinks I’m pathetic and nerdy about it.

11. I used to work at an art museum and I guess you could say I’m one of a handful of experts on a 15^th century duke from Ferrara (hence the 100 dollar bills I used for wallpaper the butler’s quarters). 

12. I have a big old scar on my chest from a spazzy childhood encounter with a glass window. It used to make me self-conscious but now I love it because it looks like a cleavage line from a distance.

13. My three-year-old once belted out Baby Got Back to our minister.

14. When I was growing up we used to have Thanksgiving with our extended family and a woman who claimed to be Anastasia, Tsar Nicholas’ daughter.

15. Cats crack me up but I’m really more of a dog person.

Toledo Spain, 1989

***

Blicky's Mandatory Fun: Check out this video! It's called Fortress by a band named Pinback.

***

In other news, ever the victim of treacherous calumny, Blicky is being framed for the theft of the Paradasha Sapphire. If anyone can step forward as a character witness, please let me know.

Speaking of mimes, you feel like writing me a review click here (you don't have to sign in or anything):

A Very Special Blicky Kitty Valentine's Day Event

Well the season of love is fast approaching and Blicky has already been bitten by the love bug. Normally irascible and surly in nature he seems to be floating around the house as of late.

What are your Valentine's Day memories? 

• Awkward exchanges of wilted, grotesquely-hued carnations in the corridors of your high school? 
• The sinking realization that candy hearts now say "email me" and you remember when they said "Pray send thy amorous missive on illuminated palimpsest" (believe me, they were a lot bigger back then)? 
• The worry that Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie Batter didn't arrive in a heart shaped box, and technically speaking no one actually "gave" it to you? 
• The time at boarding school when a really cute upperclassman took you to Hampton Beach and you tried to be cool and light his cigarette, but instead you lit the highly flammable front of his Flock of Seagulls hair style?

We at Blicky Kitty want to recapture Valentine's Day in it's purer and less expensive form. Remember the warm fuzzy pom pom people from kindergarden? Or the poorly-spelled second grade notes pointing out your obvious physical traits such as height and hairstyle or your funniness ("I like Lorall, she is tall and funny. That is why I like her.")? We are hosting a very special Valentine's Day event called a Karm-a-Thon. If you'd like to participate, just leave me a comment and link to this post if you wish. 

Then, create a special Valentine's Day post where you give a really thoughtful, meaningful compliment to someone you know. It could be a loved one, acquaintance or friend. Also you could give a compliment to someone and write about it. Make a stranger's day by telling her she looks pretty in that outfit! Let someone know that you see something cool and special about them. Share the love!

Blicky will select a winner or winners to receive a custom Blicky Kitty or other Photoshop design of their choice!

"Mao aren't you just oversimplifying the deeper Buddhist meaning of karma?"

Yes Blicky but I think people will understand that my intentions are well-meaning.

"Mao aren't you just trying to distract yourself from your upcoming 40th birthday?"

Gotta go!

***

Many thanks to Bill Austin from Blog of the Day Awards for the honor of naming Blicky Kitty among the Blog of the Day recipients for Saturday, January 24th! I am truly honored, and thank you to the person who nominated me!

The Blick Project and Some Belated Thank Yous...

Well it's been a few days since our last visit to the blickosphere, but we've been really busy with an exciting new project! Blicky and I have finally finished the screenplay we've been working on and we're really excited for the next phase. It's only a matter of time before some big Hollywood hotshot picks it up because we're breaking new ground not only with our narrative, but I think we've invented an entirely new genre: horror movies starring toddlers.

The premise is one cat, one house in the middle of the woods (just a coincidence that ours is too), one toddler and  a camera. I think we could shoot the whole thing on a shoestring budget. Let me describe the opening scene: Blicky goes upstairs to check on toddler after hearing a long silence. We hear a the piercing sound of violins get louder and louder as he walks up the stairs. Then "Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!" Blicky screams as he opens the bathroom door to find scary toddler using Blicky's toothbrush to paint with half a tube of toothpaste and half a container of expensive, intensive moisturizing cream. His scream echoes again and again as the camera pans to the other cream-covered family toothbrushes and makeup brushes, makeup and toilet paper strewn across the floor. Is there no end to the horror?

We call this the nostril shot, but my husband calls it the "how much time did you spend on that?"

The doorbell rings and more scary music. It's the Blair Witch! "Listen, now's just not a good time. There's some scary stuff going on around here, so you'll have to come back." The scary music abates as we see Blicky scrubbing the whole bathroom.

Then the camera drops to the floor and we realize that someone much shorter has taken control over the camera and things have gone horribly, horribly, wrong... then it just gets too scary for words, the hideous carnage of My Little Ponies strewn across the ground, Barbie laying naked and mangled, the fingerprints on the tv. Just imagine each new image accompanied by a blood-curdling scream:

That should give you a little taste. I don't want to spoil the whole thing, but now you can see why we're so excited.

***

I owe belated thanks with apologies to Tracy Griffin and Mary for the wonderful awards they've bestowed upon Blick. It makes him so happy! 

Tracy over at the Art Barista gave us this lovely blog award, but the kudos should go to her because lovely is the word for her artwork. Her work is so fun to look at because her colors are so soothing and the lines and compositions are really joyous and playful.

My Bloggy friend Mary over at Little Weloos Mom gave Blicky this fun little lemonade award. If you haven't checked Mary's blog it's a fun one -- she describes it as motherhood Appalachian style.. I was smitten the first time I saw her banner with her daughter next to the mothman, because I knew I'd found a kindred sense of humor.

And thanks to the Unfinished Rambler (I think Mrs. Rambler must've given him that name because I couldn't find another anywhere) who gave Blicky Kitty and Soggy Doggy Bloggy a Sunday Shout Out last week! It was quite an honor coming from such a funny, smart writer. I especially love how he put his own spin on the meme.

Inauguration Day at the Blicky Kitty Homestead

Abigail Adams, Gilbert Stuart

"Martha is my bonnet straight? It's so lovely here at Mt. Vernon.  Oh no, who invited Calhoun?"

It's finally here! The day we've all been waiting for. For more bloggyland Inauguration Day fun be sure to head over to Muse Swings. I thought for this special occasion I'd take you on an edifying tour of our local birthplace of Gilbert Stuart, the painter of George Washington's most famous portrait.

Mao. Zzzzzz

What do you mean, Blicky?

Mao. Standing by today with exclusive coverage.

Well, I guess that sounds interesting. OK Blicky, be my guest!

Mao, reports coming in from all over the country today of rolling sounds emanating from the graves of famous racists. I'm standing here over the grave of  staunch slavery advocate, and big fat stinkin' racist, John C. Calhoun. One can clearly discern a steady rolling noise punctuated by the occasional creepy thump.

Wait Blicky. I hardly think that's an appropriate topic for today. The politics of the incoming administration have transcended so many issues surrounding race and we should all be inspired by the sense of hope and positive message of.... Is that the gopher from Caddyshack?

Now standing at the grave of Confederate President Jefferson Davis who was one of the biggest, fattest founders of American institutional racism. I am listening to whirling, rolling sound interspersed with ghoulish moans. It gets louder every time I turn up the volume of the inauguration coverage.

Mao, some of the loudest moans have been heard from pro-segregation Alabama governor, and big fat stinkin' racist George C. Wallace's grave. The rolling sound is quite fast and quite loud. It almost sounds as though he's spinning like a top down there.

Blicky, are you saying this is actually happening, or are you the only witness?

Mao, no, crowds are starting to form and there's dancing on the graves and some champagne corks flying.

Mao, big fat stinkin' racist, Strom Turmond preserved in a cryogenics state.

That's enough, you've ruined another post! Damn you Blicky Kitty!

Please accept my apologies. Now I won't have time to talk about Gilbert Stuart. I guess I'll just leave you with an image of the very thing Pandora found at the bottom of her box after a host of human maladies were loosed upon the world (big fat stinkin' racists, intolerance, war, corruption, poverty, famine, grief)...HOPE. I just learned that the artist of the image, RISD grad Shepard Fairey also did the ubiquitous Andre the Giant images of the 80's and 90's. Here's a great video about him. I guess all presidential portraits have the same goal, to reach the eyes of many (Gilbert Stuart made over a hundred copies of the famous Athenaeum portrait that appears on the one dollar bill) influence and inspire. I find it interesting that this street artist had an interest in "viral" images before the use of the internet became widespread. This poster offers a wonderful testimony to our national zeitgeist. It is simple, lyrical and profound and it captures this moment in time in every way, from it's aesthetic style to it's savvy, forward-looking use and dissemination.

Here's to hope, gentle readers.

Blicky Unearths Rare Fragments of Historical Farewell Addresses

Try as I might to keep from hearing the farewell speech by a certain president, who shall-not-be-named in order to avoid offending any of my gentle readers numbering among the 22% who still feel like he did a bang-up job; a few radio borne snippets managed to float through the airwaves.

When I heard it, however, I was really relieved to know that things are a lot better than I had feared. Afghanistan actually sounds awesome. I was even thinking it would be a great place to raise my girls, now that women are so free and the country so democratic. I guess things are going really well in Iraq too. I had been concerned that maybe we shouldn't have done it, but it sounds like things are awesome there too.

The speech got Blicky thinking about historical figures and the legacy they leave behind, so over the course of months of exhaustive and tireless research he unearthed a treasure trove of new documents the existence of which scholars have hitherto remained ignorant...until now.

Fragment from an early draft of George Washington's farewell address:

We are seeing the peaceful birth of a new, peace-loving democracy in France. Reports of Robespierre eating Louis XVI's liver, sharpening the guillotine with puppies and orphans, and using the court dwarf for jousting practice have been wildly exaggerated by enemies of American freedom. Slavery in our new land is beginning to fade away gradually, and our indian brethren are coexisting peacefully with American patriots across the Great Plains.

Xerxes' Farewell Address: Our last campaign against the Athenians was a huge success thanks to the bravery of our military heros like Turgot the Meek and Hargip the Bewildered who sacrificed their comely wives to me and then lay down their lives for this great Persian empire.

The Farewell Address of Emperor Titus Flavius Sabinus Vespasianus: Our response to the destruction in Pompeii and Herculanium was immediate and well executed thanks to the efforts of Brunicus. Heck of a job, Brunicus!

The Farewell Address of Napoleon: Some may not have agreed that I should have attacked Wellington and von Blücher while they were assembled near the northeastern border of France but leaders are often called upon to make difficult decisions and I think history will look back upon Waterloo as the beginning of the end for the Seventh Coalition.

George Washington's Farewell Address, co-authored incidentally with Alexander Hamilton, was first published in 1796. The Address is read aloud every year in the US Senate. In anticipation of the inaugural festivities at Muse Swings, here's some of what Washington had to teach us about partisan politics and the usurpation of power by any one group:

"I have already intimated to you the danger of parties in the state, with particular reference to the founding of them on geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party, generally.

This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind. It exists under different shapes in all governments, more or less stifled, controlled, or repressed; but, in those of the popular form, it is seen in its greatest rankness, and is truly their worst enemy.

The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries, which result, gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty.

Without looking forward to an extremity of this kind, (which nevertheless ought not to be entirely out of sight,) the common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.

It serves always to distract the Public Councils, and enfeeble the Public Administration. It agitates the Community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which find a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions. Thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another.

There is an opinion, that parties in free countries are useful checks upon the administration of the Government, and serve to keep alive the spirit of Liberty. This within certain limits is probably true; and in Governments of a Monarchical cast, Patriotism may look with indulgence, if not with favor, upon the spirit of party. But in those of the popular character, in Governments purely elective, it is a spirit not to be encouraged. From their natural tendency, it is certain there will always be enough of that spirit for every salutary purpose. And, there being constant danger of excess, the effort ought to be, by force of public opinion, to mitigate and assuage it. A fire not to be quenched, it demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a flame, lest, instead of warming, it should consume.

It is important, likewise, that the habits of thinking in a free country should inspire caution, in those intrusted with its administration, to confine themselves within their respective constitutional spheres, avoiding in the exercise of the powers of one department to encroach upon another. The spirit of encroachment tends to consolidate the powers of all the departments in one, and thus to create, whatever the form of government, a real despotism. A just estimate of that love of power, and proneness to abuse it, which predominates in the human heart, is sufficient to satisfy us of the truth of this position. The necessity of reciprocal checks in the exercise of political power, by dividing and distributing it into different depositories, and constituting each the Guardian of the Public Weal against invasions by the others, has been evinced by experiments ancient and modern; some of them in our country and under our own eyes. To preserve them must be as necessary as to institute them. If, in the opinion of the people, the distribution or modification of the constitutional powers be in any particular wrong, let it be corrected by an amendment in the way, which the constitution designates. But let there be no change by usurpation; for, though this, in one instance, may be the instrument of good, it is the customary weapon by which free governments are destroyed. The precedent must always greatly overbalance in permanent evil any partial or transient benefit, which the use can at any time yield."

Word.

Wanna review me over at Humor Bloggers? No sign-up necessary.... Here's the link to me.

Blicky Scores Interview with Author Ron Chernow

Blicky: Read book, Alexander Hamilton, mao.

Chernow: Thank you Blicky, but I published that years ago. Don't you want to discuss my work on the great families of history in the context of the current economic crisis?

Blicky: No. 

Maooo your account of Hamilton’s life chronicles reveals his remarkable ascent to power but also serves as a lurid chronicle of tragedy, betrayal and scandal.

Chernow: Um, Thanks?

Blicky: Maoo really formidable intellect for human.

Chernow: Well, yes Blicky. He was born an illegitimate child in the West Indies. He started out his career orphaned, alone and broke and within a short span of time he became a successful businessman, earned a law degree and became George Washington’s Chief of Staff. He went on to become one of New York’s most successful lawyers, he authored the Federalist Papers, and he constructed the basis for our modern economic system as Treasury Secretary. 

Blicky: Mao, cure cancer too?

Chernow: Blicky, did you even read my book?

Blicky: Mao.

Chernow: The thing I tried to convey was that we don't learn as much about Hamilton as the other founding fathers partly because his political foes, such as John Adams and Thomas Jefferson outlived him. He made some tragic personal and political mistakes, but he was really the first to see that our strength as a nation would only be possible when we became a world economic power.
Blicky: Mao, give all gossip.

Chernow: Blicky, my work isn't about gossip. Hamiton's career was tragically sullied by an unfortunate affair with the young Maria (pronounced Mariah) Reynolds. Apparently she called at Hamilton's home in great distress, lamenting that she had been abandoned by a perfidious and cruel husband and required assistance to return to her friends. Hamilton being ever the gentleman, arranged to meet her later at her home where she received him upstairs and led him into a bedroom. He presented her with a banknote and as he himself wrote, "Some conversation ensued from which it was quickly apparent that other than pecuniary consolation would be acceptable."

Martha, you must divulge to me everything forthwith. Is it true she wears her bodice in the French fashion?

The bizarre part of the affair was that it went on for so long, even when the husband found out. Even when the husband began to bribe Hamilton. Even when Maria proved herself a tad bit unstable. Even when her husband, after Hamilton's interest seemed to flag, switched from being an aggrieved husband to a quasi-pimp/con artist. It almost seems as if Hamilton was seized with a sexual obsession which serves as a puzzling counterpoint to a brilliant career in public life.

Blicky: That would never happen today. Mao, great gossip Chernow. Knew you'd hook me up, mao.

Chernow: Blicky I resent the implication that I engage in gossip!

Blicky: Detected slight homoerotic subtext running through the book as well.

Chernow: That's it, Blicky this interview is over. Now if you'll just introduce me to Doris Kearns Goodwin as you promised.

Blicky: Ooops, forgot to mention that she'd won't be here today but will attend the inauguration festivities over at Muse Swings. 

Chernow: Damn you Blicky!! Damn you!!

Blicky's Tips for Riding Out a Bad Economy

Sure the news is bleak. We hear reports of the alarmingly rapid rate Americans (some more than others) are losing jobs. We hear about foreclosures. All of us feel a little more frightened perhaps than we did a year ago. As you know, Blicky Kitty is all about the readerZ, so we've researched long and hard to come up with a solution for you. In recent decades Americans have accustomed ourselves to a standard of living unparalleled in human history. Now are we supposed to give that up? I say no!

The secret? Webkinz World. For the price of a stuffed animal, you too can have access to the greatest place in the whole world. You wait until the kids are in bed because frankly, they just get in the way. Then the fun begins. You start out with a huge pot of money to spend on your crib.
Then all you have to do to earn more is press a button affirming your profound, heartfelt love for your two-dimensional animal avatars to earn more. Also, for those of us in the know, there are two games called the Wheel of Wow and Wishing Well where you get a chance to win serious loot everyday.

Pinky, Kitty, Pearl, Rainbow and Soleil were keeping it real until the economy tanked and I took things over. Now they are decked out with mad ice and it's all about the Benjamins, baby. I'm not saying that Webkinz World is not without it's drawbacks. My neighbors in Kinzville, Fluffy and Spotty have been speaking rather derisively about our conspicuous consumption. They prefer to spend their Kinzcash on the less visible status symbols. Their Webkinz go to Kinzville Academy and wear those dapper little jackets. But they and their peers have gotten to enjoy the wealth of Webkinz World for a longer time than Pinky and Soleil. What they don't understand is that even though we have mad Kincash, we still know how to keep it real.

 

Most economic deconstructions of bling fail to understand economic expressions are not so binary. Our use of Kinzcash should be understood both as embracing capitalism while subtly subverting its traditional inequities between the haves and the have nots. As we have learned in our research, Webkinz Bling has obviously bought into the larger capitalist project of amassing wealth, measuring all things in money, conspicuous consumption. Nevertheless it has done so while retaining it's traditional cultural idioms and heritage. Part of the use of Webkinz bling can be seen as defiance against another form of Kinzcash capitalism, the racialized white webkinz capitalism that works to keep ethnic minorities (like Soleil and Kitty) in a subjugated position. So while wearing them diamond bracelets, sippin' on Cris, fittin up that Benz with Lorenzo rims might not save or edify you, it'll sure feel good to stick it to the W Man.

Count Me In: Inauguration Day at Muse Swings!

Muse Swings: Inauguration Day Invitation For You!

When Cynthia at Muse Swings has a bloggyland event, you know it's going to be fun! I am off to go plan my outfit...

On a related note, for those of you who have read my blog and scrolled down far enough may have noticed I have an resplendant array of awards. At first glance, you might guess that I'm a gifted writer and all around great blickosphere citizen. But if you inspect them a little closer, you might notice that most of them are from the same person; Cynthia. So your next assumption may be that I suck. A fair conclusion, but actually they are proof of my unsuckiness because Cynthia is awesome and an amazing writer, so if she thinks I'm cool I might possess a modicum of blickosphere awesomeness by association. So it is with great pride that I display this award:

Thank you Cynthia! There are a bunch of bloggers who I would pass them along to but many of them either have them already or have too much traffic to notice :).

Here would be the recipients for my favorite blog list for 2008. For those of you who are already the recipients of this honor, just consider it a shout out:

Cynthia at Muse Swings

Kat at Poetikat's Invisible Keepsakes and Poetikat's Blasts from the Past

Mary at Little Weloos Mom

Anna at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

Tiffany and Heather at the Secret in the Sauce

Debbie at Life's Funny Like That

Stevie Wren at A Little Birdie Told Me So

Lavinia at Birdbath Chronicles

Margaret at Nanny Goats in Panties

Mel at Bean Sprouts

Willow at Life at Willow Manor

Time Capsule Missive to Future Self: Do Not Open Until January 25 2009, circa 8:00pm

Dear Me,

PUT-THAT-COOKIE-DOWN!!

Yeah, don't look around the room because nobody told me. I just know you so well. You're thinking: 

Just one. I've been so healthy since New Year's Day and I've been running a ton and they're made with whole wheat flour, so chewy and yummy... 

But listen, I have great plans for you. You're signed up for that 10 mile road race in February and you want to be in the best possible --

EH-EH-EH-EH-DOWN!!! THE COOKIE -- DOWN!!

That's better. I know, now you're frowning and your eyes have narrowed into little slits and you're thinking: 

She is so mean. That half-crazed perfectionist must be cuckoo for cocoa puffs if she thinks I'm sticking to this perfect nutrition / no treats / exercise until you're shaking New Year's "plan." Why didn't she just stay with our old standbys; the easy ones to check off the list? No kidney trafficking! No setting the fingernail record in the Guinness Book! No learning Mandarin -- that sort of thing! Those are beautiful resolutions that you can mark off with nice big checks. 

I won't hear it. The world, or at least large swathes of protestant New England run, nay thrive on guilt. Guilt is your friend, and I for one am truly disappointed in you.

AP-BA-BA-BA-BAH! DOWN!!

Oh come on! You're doing so well. Just stick it out and I promise I won't make next year's resolution running a marathon. There you go. I knew you'd see it my way.

Love (I guess),

You