Blicky Bipartisanship

Now I realize that many of you, gentle readers, don't love this man the way I do. So perhaps you're not sharing in my feelings of pride, jubilation and hope today. I decided to do a post in the spirit of bipartisanship because some of you need to be cheered up and frankly who isn't sick of divisive, vituperative attacks in our national conversation? Here's what each candidate has to teach us about bipartisanship:

Barack Obama:"As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."

John McCain: "Senator Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain. These are difficult times for our country, and I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face. 

I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together, to find the necessary compromises, to bridge our differences, and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited."

Now as you know we here at Blicky Kitty live in a bipartisan household. The humans are all quite liberal and our cat is a neo-con. 

But we have come together in the true spirit of bipartisanship to create a list of basic truths that all Americans can agree on:

Angelina Jolie is hotter than I am.

Death is bad.

Cleaning the toilet is not a fun job.

Those rich wall street guys suck.

Hitler was a bad man.

Children are our future.

It would be funner to sleep with Brad Pitt than Ruth Buzzi.

Teasing French people is tres amusant, n'est pas?

Good stuff is usually better than bad stuff.

We should generally strive to avoid nuclear holocausts.

The macarena is no longer hip but still fun.

Madonna should maybe think about wearing more clothes even though her body is totally rocking.

Rupert Murdoch tortures small, furry animals.

Charo could still say "Cucchi Cucchi, but it wouldn't have the same effect on Captain Merryl.

Either candidate would have been better than the last guy.

Feel free to add you own...

Have You Voted Yet?

I just had to share this, in case you want to spend a little time with John Cleese on Election Day. We'll make him proud today.

Guest Blogger: The Big Cat Weighs In

The single estrogen-challenged, human inhabitant of the Blicky homestead has been getting more hits in a single day writing comments on the NYT Web site than I've gotten ...ever. Aside from being a stud, he's very wise and knowledgeable about American history. Here's his latest post. It's a response to op-ed writer Frank Rich's latest piece Guess Who's Coming to Dinner:

Barring an unprecedented reversal over the next three days, Barack Obama will be elected as the next President of the United States.

McCain’s apologists and allies will decry a so-called “media bias” toward Obama. If they look honestly at the last three months, however, they will place the blame squarely on McCain and his handlers. Conceding that McCain is a good man and would have made an adequate president, he ran a campaign so tone deaf to the needs of the country that he blew his big chance when it finally came to him.

Americans have been worn out by divisive, sleazy, low-blow campaigning, and yearn for an articulation of common purpose that has been absent in the last eight years. George Bush missed an opportunity to provide this kind of leadership after his disputed election in 2000 and again after 9/11. He was either too small-minded or insecure or overwhelmed by ideologues to recognize it. The majority of people in the country apparently see that a McCain presidency would provide more of the same.

Obama played rough in this campaign, to be sure, but he also consistently staked out the higher ground when compared to his Republican opponents. It will now be his opportunity and responsibility to lead the country in a moment of crisis. What the United States needs right now is what it has received from great leaders like Lincoln and Roosevelt in other times of difficulty: a recognition of the need to inspire hope in all Americans – not just those who helped elect them – and to deal decisively with the nation’s problems in ways that foster the greater good.

Spy vs. Spy

Possible macrocosmic interpretations for Spy vs. Spy:

• The TNT detonator is Bill Ayers, Joe Sixpack, the lobster dinner, Joe the Plumber, accusations of class warfare....uh oh, uh oh BOOOOOOOMMM! Blows up in their faces.
  
• The spies are Pyrrhus and Priam caught in a terrible cycle of violence.
  
• The TNT detonator is the war on terror and we're winning, the surge is working. We're the good team, they're the bad team...uh oh, uh oh BOOOOOOMMMM! Blows up in their faces.
  
• The monochromatic character of the cartoon symbolizes the racial tensions inherent in our culture.

The thing what make the news so hard to handle these days is that everything is presented to us in such black and white terms, as if there is ever a clear good guy and a bad guy. This time around we have a great guy (I've been an admirer of Obama since 2004) and a decent human being who just shouldn't be president now. I love to tease Sarah Palin as much as the next guy. In fact it's become something of a hobby. I disagree with her on pretty much every issue; she thinks people who hail from my state don't love America (even the long term republicans, and those who have lost loved ones in the war), I believe her rallies are coming dangerously close to inciting racial violence in this country and I think the concept of a Palin white house would be a near apocalyptic scenario. "Uh oh, uh oh .....BOOOOM!"

But should people pass judgement on her for deciding to campaign with a small baby at home? Absolutely not! We would never ask the same questions of a man. Should we judge her for the fact that her party bought her a killer wardrobe while she campaigns for Vice President? Absolutely not, because you know we'd be dissing her if she showed up wearing Jacklyn Smith's Kmart collection to her debates and rallies.

Priam killed by Neoptolemus (Pyrrhus), son of Achilles, detail of an Attic black-figure amphora by the Class of Cambridge 49, ca. 520 BC–510 BC, found in Vulci, Louvre, Department of Greek, Etruscan and Roman Antiquities, Sully wing, Campana Gallery (F 222), Photographer: Jastrow (2006)

The black and white stuff is getting the better of us. As Shakespeare's story of Pyrrhus, Priam and Hecuba teaches us, the only way out of the cycle of either violence (or rhetorical dialectics) is compassion. Hamlet should have listened and we should listen too. Shakespeare describes the death of Priam in brutal detail (Act II, scene ii), then describes the grief of Hecuba who has lost both her son and husband:

But if the gods themselves did see her then
When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport
In mincing with his sword her husband's limbs,
The instant burst of clamour that she made,
Unless things mortal move them not at all,
Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven,
And passion in the gods.'

With that one line Shakespeare takes us aloft, up to Mount Olympus where can see the human struggle and the pain it causes. The difficult truth is that families feel the same pain when losing a loved one whether they are Iraqi, American or Afghani. The hard truth for me is that people who believe the polar opposite from me are doing what they think will preserve what is good and right about this country (even as part of me screams "No, no, no you stupid, decadent, greedy, warmongering, homophobic racists" and Blicky retorts "Don't you dare spread my wealth you elitist, atheist, liberal, troop-hating commie weakling). We've come to such an impasse that it's only when we can see the world with real compassion and nuance are we ever going to get at any semblance of truth. 

We at Blicky Kitty (with thanks to Katie) have found the solution. Let's just get together and have a dance party!

Bad Kitty!

Everyman

Joe Sixpack, Joe the Plumber, Joe Average, Joe Shmoe, Joe Blow, John Q. Public, and John Q. Taxpayer. You can't have watched the presidential and vice presidential debates without hearing this attempt at giving the average American a name. But what does it really mean? Does this truly capture the zeitgeist of modern American life? 

What does it mean to call someone Joe Sixpack? Well, I think what Sarah Palin wanted to convey was an ordinary guy, working hard, trying to attain the American dream. Unfortunately, it also conjures up images of overweight, possibly hairy middle-aged men in their underwear sitting on their arses and swilling room-temperature Schlitz. Not that there's anything wrong with hairiness, overweight people, or middle-aged men, but could we perhaps select a more dignified image for our national Everyman? Some bloggers say that the term Joe Sixpack also carries certain cultural connotations. Perhaps Joe watches NASCAR? Is Joe a recent immigrant? Probably not. He sure as heck couldn't be Middle-Eastern because he would have to be Jusef, and the sixpack would have to go because Muslims eschew alcohol. I guess Joe couldn't be Seventh Day Adventist either. I might be wrong on this too but I don't think NASCAR has an enormous African American following. So when Sarah Palin tells us she represents Joe Sixpack, how many of us does she want to represent?

Then there's Joe the Plummer. John McCain mentioned him often in the debate, and because he wasn't quite specific on the name (and because he's not a licensed plumber) I believe he meant John Q. Taxpayer (which Joe, or Samuel, really isn't that great at either). OK, so it's silly, and a bit too easy to pick on Joe/Sam. But what does McCain want to convey through the character of Joe the Plumber? My guess is that Joe is meant to personify the hardworking guy, just trying to earn his own small piece of the American dream feels threatened by Obama's abject class warfare. When Katie Couric asked him if he made enough money (250,000) to be affected by the tax cuts he sort of hemmed and said nooo, but it's a "slippery slope." "You vote on somebody who decides that $250,000 and you're rich? And $100,000 and you're rich? I mean, where does it end? You know, that's - people got to ask that question." OK Joe, so by that same logic, let's say selling drugs is illegal and you vote on someone who decides that you go to jail if you sell drugs. And then drinking a sixpack and you go to jail? I mean where does it end ... tax evasion? You know, people got to ask that question. OK, but let's just be nice, because I do think that John McCain is an OK guy. Taxing rich people is class warfare.

But where does all this rhetoric leave us? What is an Everyman? The term comes to us from a late fifteenth-century English morality play. The play opens with a monologue delivered by God. He laments all of the trouble brought about by humans. He feels taken for granted because humans are too absorbed by material wealth to love him. God resolves to summon Death to bring Everyman to heaven for his reckoning. Fellowship, the personification of friendship agrees to accompany him until he finds out the true nature of his journey, then he bolts, leaving poor Everyman to fend for himself. He also meets up with Kindred and Cousin who offer lame excuses for why they can't go. Everyman then asks Goods to accompany him because he has given him so much love, but it turns out that would have just gotten him in worse trouble with God. He then turns to Good Deeds, but she was too weak to go with him because he just hadn't shown her enough love. She sends her sister Knowledge instead and they go together to see Confession. So Everyman goes and does the right thing, he shows suitable contrition, receives the jewel called Penence and Good Deeds becomes well enough to join him on his journey. He receives all sorts of wonderful things, but in the end it is only Good Deeds who is able to go with him all the way into heaven.

What would the modern version of that morality play be? How would Joe Sixpack fare when summoned for his reckoning by the character of God from that morality play? 

God: I see you've only brought beer and a remote control. Are you serious?

Joe Sixpack: You betcha!

God: Have you brought any Good Deeds with you?

Joe S: Well, I've just been working hard, trying to get my slice of the American Pie. I'm proud to be an American. I did pass this personification lady on the way here. She was sort of lyin' there and moaning somethin' about good deeds.

God: But what good have you done for the world? How have you shared my love with the world?

Joe S: I work hard for all the stuff I have and my country's spreading democracy.

God: Is that underwear you're wearing?

God speketh. 
I perceyue here in my maieste 
How that all creatures be to me vnkynde 
Lyuynge without drede in worldely prosperyte 
Of ghostly syght the people be so blynde 
Drowned in synne they know me not for theyr god 
In worldely ryches is all theyr mynde 
They fere not my ryghtwysnes the sharpe rood 
My lawe that I shewed whan I for them dyed 
They forgete clene and shedynge of my bloderede 
I hanged bytwene two it can not be denyed 
To gete them lyfe I suffred to be deed 
I heled theyr fete with thornes hurt was my heed 
I coulde do nomore than I dyde truely 
And nowe I se the people do clene for sake me 
They vse the seuen deedly synnes damphable 
As pryde coueteyse wrathe and lechery 
Now in the worlde be made commendable 
And thus they leue of aungelles y^e heuenly company 
Euery man lyueth so after his owne pleasure 
And yet of theyr lyfe they be nothinge sure 
I se the more that I then forbere 
The worse they be fro yere to yere 
All that lyueth appayreth faste 
Therfore I wyll in all the haste 
Haue a rekenynge of euery mannes persone 
For and I leue the people thus alone 
In theyr lyfe and wycked tempestes 
Verly they wyll become moche worse than beestes 
For now one wolde by enuy another vp ete 
Charyte they do all clene forgete 
I hoped well that euery man 
In my glory shulde make his mansyon 
And therto I had them all electe 
But now I se lyke traytours deiecte 
They thanke me not for y^e pleasure y^t to them ment 
Nor yet for theyr beynge that I them haue lent 
I profered the people grete multytude of mercy 
And fewe there be that asketh it hertly 
They be so combred with worldly ryches 
That nedes on them I must do Iustyce 
On euery man lyuynge without fere 
Where arte thou deth thou myghty messengere 

The Audacity of Fiorra

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; ....

I can't be the only one with a serious case existential angst this election year. The more I see and hear about the contemporary political landscape the more I feel as though we are merely going through the motions with our representative democracy. One might expect that most governments evolve into plutocracies to some degree as the wealthy find ways of achieving greater power and influence. But now it seems to have achieved such a pitch and frenzy that our democracy has become dysfunctional and we are actually being governed by media conglomerates, oil companies and other powerful lobbying groups. 

Our presidential elections have far less to do with statesmanship or political platforms and everything to do with imaging and marketing. They've done their job well. A cheery voice told us in 2000, "You get all this: cowboy for president, a representative of American values, ardent opponent of nation-building, who is committed to the the environment for only 19.99. Act now, and you'll receive a portion of our nation's surplus. That's right, a real money check mailed right to your door, plus a set of Ginzu Knifes." In 2004, we heard the same thing, "If you ignore the war we entered by lying to you, the torture we allowed at Abu Graib, and fall into rank and file, then by jingo, we'll throw in the Imperial Oil Protectorate of Iraq. Act now and you'll receive an additional incentive check as a token of our gratitude." Now we're hearing the familiar refrain once again "Now, from the people who brought you hits like Iraq, Abu Graib and Katrina there's the War on Money. Call now, and we'll manage your economy for only 2,319.99!"

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity...

As I talk to people I really admire I find that some of the most brilliant and clear-minded people I know are the most disheartened right now. They are not staffing the phones for their candidates, but listening to the debates and thinking "There is barely any difference. These guys sound the same." Especially since they have both served as senators, McCain and Obama volley charges about the each other's voting records, like a pair of cranky schoolboys playing badminton. But we will never find our ideal candidate. I myself would rather have heard someone support South Ossetia's right to declare autonomy from Georgia. I feel sad that when asked if Russia under Putin is an evil empire, my guy failed to muster the correct response: "Hell no, I refuse to allow Reagan's late 20th century characterization of global politics define this era." It is just plain sad to see this mess and there's so much blame to go around. I still can't bring myself disengage from the process because my candidate isn't perfect.

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Yeah the news is just plain depressing, but come on Yeats, man! It's not that bad. I'll pass along a little snippet of HOPE that I gleaned from the debate. The mere fact that this question was asked brought me so much satisfaction because it moved the debate away from talking points and towards an issue of national character.

Brokaw: Sen. McCain, for you, we have our first question from the Internet tonight. A child of the Depression, 78-year-old Fiorra from Chicago:

"Since World War II, we have never been asked to sacrifice anything to help our country, except the blood of our heroic men and women. As president, what sacrifices -- sacrifices will you ask every American to make to help restore the American dream and to get out of the economic morass that we're now in?"

Fiorra, you rock! Thank you for giving the watching public one brief shining moment to remember that American life is about more than all the stuff you get.

Now I really must go, Blicky is actually being held in a little timeout downstairs since this whole Wall Street debacle. Bad Blicky! I think I hear him down there meowing "sell" into his Blackberry, so I've got to locate his recharger and pick up a few toiletries for him online.

Sara Palin: Master Rhetorician

As I watch the vice presidential debate tonight I'm slowly realizing that we deserve the leaders we get with our popular defiance of anything intelligent and substantive. It's taken me a while to grasp this because my attention span -- hey look something shiny -- has been affected by stultifying popular discourse -- wonder if there are any cookies upstairs, yummy cookies, cookies are really yummy, just like ice cream. Our leadership is a symptom of basic problems in our culture. We strive for excellence and quality in everything else; our cars, our airplanes, our factories and schools and then choose the worst possible option when it comes to our leadership. 

One thing that Palin shares with Bush is the way she wears her ignorance like a badge of honor. This allows her to parry any kind of challenge or complex idea with a wink and a cute smile that drives straight through our flaccid Joe Sixpack cerebral cortexes and right into our limbic systems. Oooo...Sarah pretty...shiny...we're good...America always right....and shiny. I think Blicky's latest plan with Rove is to engineer a way for the information to travel to the motor cortex directly and wait there until we're in the voting booth.

Every time Palin utters the names Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong-il I feel like somewhere there's a social studies book inexplicably bursting into flames. It's as if she might start drifting off and talking about Padhkavilijad the Princess of Hungary and Shuskamucharad the Emperor of Scotland and hope we don't look it up. If we do, she'd wink at us and say "Joe, may I call you Joe...Sixpack?" Oooo..so pretty...so shiny.

In the current intellectual climate, Lincoln would have lost to a Bush or Palin because real wisdom and substance gets vilified as elitist within the present system. Here's how the debate with Lincoln and Palin would play out.

Lincoln: To allow the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he deems it necessary to repel an invasion and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow him to make war at pleasure. Study to see if you can fix any limit to his power in this respect, after having given him so much as you propose. If to-day he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade [Iraq] to prevent [al Quaida] from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, — "I see no probability of [ al Quaida working with Saddam Hussein, or the existence of WMD]"; but he will say to you, "Be silent: I see it, if you don't."

To provision of the Constitution giving the war making power to Congress was dictated, as I understand it, by the following reasons: Kings had always been involving and impoverishing their people in wars, pretending generally, if not always, that the good of the people was the object. This our convention understood to be the most oppressive of all kingly oppressions, and they resolved to so frame the Constitution that no one man should hold the power of bringing this oppression upon us. But your view destroys the whole matter, and places our President where kings have always stood. (Letter, while US Congressman, to his friend and law-partner William H. Herndon, opposing the Mexican-American War,15 February 1848)

Palin: (Smiles) Can I call you Abe? Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq and that is not what our troops need to hear today, that's for sure. And it's not what our nation needs to be able to count on. We'll know when we're finished in Iraq when the Iraqi government can govern its people and when the Iraqi security forces can secure its people. And our commanders on the ground will tell us when those conditions have been met. [And Grand Pasha Hestashabawedacon of the Kingdom of France and the Sumerian Emperor Meshanipada] also is working with us are knowing again that we are getting closer and closer to that point, that victory that's within sight. John McCain knows how to win a war. He knows what evil is. You betcha. My Amygdala responds: Fear! Fear!...not good...terrorists will get ice cream.

It's time that a normal Joe Six Pack American is finally represented in the position of vice-presidency. I think that has kind of taken some people off guard, and they're out of sorts, and they're ticked off about it." (Pasted together from debate and pre-debate quotes) Mmmm sixpack...yummy...make me forget fear.... 

Preparations on the Blicky Homestead for Horrific Financial Chaos and the Destruction of Life as We Know It.

No doubt some were shocked and caught unawares by the news emanating from Wall Street this afternoon. I for one was prepared. We have been studying about subsistence living techniques this whole year and here are our recommendations:

• Start building a Hooverville in your backyard now because all your neighbors who drive Hummers and live in McMansions will be hobos soon.
  
• Start an organic garden like we did and by next year you too might have two zucchinis and a handful of cherry tomatoes to get you through the winter (or to feed to the hobos).
• Don't throw away those old socks! The thread can be reused as a holder for your iPhone. In a pinch you can also boil them for two days and mix it with lard to feed the kids.
• Learn how to forage! A nourishing meal is as easy to find as a golden parachute on Wall Street if you just know where to look. Perhaps there is a blackberry bush in the woods behind your house. Maybe your neighbor stepped out and left a pie cooling on the window sill. Some mushrooms are very nutritious and others will kill you in minutes.
• Think of ways to earn extra money. Maybe your seven-year-old can pass for at least eleven and the day laborers down the road don't split hairs. Good with numbers? Maybe you could get a job counting the money filling the swimming pools of corporate executives.

The War on Money

I'm finally beginning to realize how many scary things there are out there that I need conservative republicans to protect me from. Thank God Rush Limbaugh is out there hefting himself atop dirty bombs and Sean Hannity is personally shielding my family from terrorist air attacks as we speak. Now we must add another element to the axis of fear: money.

Yes, as Bush outlined in his speech on Wednesday flanked by an unidentified economic advisor, we are under attack by money and we have to declare war. "Our entire economy is in danger." The only way we can avoid "a long and painful recession" is to declare war. Wall Street executives, bakers and high level government officials will designate money as an enemy combatant and hold it indefinitely, thus insuring the safety of the American people. In fact, if you pay us 700 billion dollars we'll keep you safe from money for as long as you want us to. 

The 700 billion will go into creating a new governmental department which will issue a color coded warning whenever the money danger gets too high. If it's on blue, there is no danger of us seeing money anytime soon. When it moves to white, we can still go about our daily business, but we should stock up. If it ever moves to red then we need to call the kids home from school and just start writing checks.

Eve Ensler Weighs in on Polar Bears, Palin and Political Nightmares

Eve Ensler, the American playwright, performer, feminist and activist best known for writing 'The Vagina Monologues' and founding V-Day, the global movement to end violence against women and girls, wrote the following about Sarah Palin.

Drill, Drill, Drill
 
 I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.
 
I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.
 
 But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.
 
I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.
 
Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here t o be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, 'It was a task from God.'

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist's baby or not.
 
She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.
 
Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.
 
Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.
 
Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God's name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.
 
I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.
 
If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, 'Drill Drill Drill.' I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.
 
Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?
 
 Eve Ensler
 
 September 5, 2008

Karen Walker to Palin: "Go get your own shtick, and honey, we've talked about this outfit."

OK , is it just me or is Palin trying to channel Karen Walker from Will and Grace (not to be confused with Megan Mullally who is way cool, funny and probably the only thing she has in common with her character is a good rack)?

Let's look at Karen's bio: hmmmm

• Might have made a pact with the devil, check
  
• Was Ronald Reagan's mistress, umm... check
  
• She believes that the homeless are a cult, not unlike the moonies, definite check
  
• Aerosmith fan, check?
  
• May or may not be responsible for the comatose state of Sunny VonBulow, check

Here's a sampling of what we have to look forward to if the marketing ploy works and we get four more years of republican control. We're in the White House. It's winter 2009:

Enter John McCain

Palin: Hi Poodle.

McCain: Who's your daddy?

Palin: You are! So honey, what's going on, what's happening, what's this all about?

McCain: Well gas prices are up to 4.00 a gallon the dollar is plummeting, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are escalating and I can't even talk about Iran or Pakistan. 

Palin: (laughs and hands him her credit card) Oh honey, well here, charge yourself a little happy.

McCain: You're my best friend. Let's touch tummies!

Palin: Oh my lord, you are a complete freak. (lifts up her shirt and touches tummies) Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! This is a place of business! We're trying to get some work done in here and I don't need you just... OK I'm saying it and I don't even buy it! (starts laughing)

Enter Karl Rove: The contract with the NRA is ready for your signature.

Palin: Is that you Cook, Driver? Oh, Bartender? Martini, honey, and don't waste any space with those olives.

McCain: I don't know Sarah, it's just that since we got in I feel like there's something missing in my life. I just wanted to serve, but now I feel like, you know, like my soul's on empty.

Palin: You can go alotta years on empty, honey. Trust me.

How Sweet And Lovely Dost Thou Make The Shame

Our poor garden started out so well! In June we felt so optimistic about our first serious attempt at organic food growing. Now I just have to admit that our first effort was truly blicky. The squash plants still dutifully churn out respectable offerings, but seem to have been afflicted with powdery mildew. I looked it up online and apparently a mixture of water, baking soda and a drop of dish liquid works best. I think my squash and pumpkins were too far along for the remedy to work however. Next year I'll just resolve to water in the morning and plant more sparsely. My poor broccoli plants were besieged by blicky worms that I had to pick off by hand in July. Sadly, they had completely gorged on the leaves before taking their leave.

It has been a great year of purple and green beans that the kittens have really gobbled up. The zukes and cukes have done beautifully despite being blighted and undignified. I should be ashamed of my tomatoes. By the time I figured out how to stake them they had to be traumatized and squished into the cone shaped wire things. Even then I was too stupid to realized they are supposed to be put in like ice cream cones and half of them toppled over. They look like a tomato patch and if plants could whimper accusingly, these most certainly would.

In short, as many a adequately guilt-ridden hardy New Englander will tell you, my garden is a measure of my moral character and I, apparently, am not faring well.

Speaking of moral character, I am in no way drawing any parallels between my beautiful, blighted plants and any political figure.

William Shakespeare, Sonnet 95: How Sweet And Lovely Dost Thou Make The Shame

How sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame 
Which, like a canker in the fragrant rose, 
Doth spot the beauty of thy budding name! 
O! in what sweets dost thou thy sins enclose. 
That tongue that tells the story of thy days, 
Making lascivious comments on thy sport, 
Cannot dispraise, but in a kind of praise; 
Naming thy name blesses an ill report. 
O! what a mansion have those vices got 
Which for their habitation chose out thee, 
Where beauty's veil doth cover every blot 
And all things turns to fair that eyes can see! 
Take heed, dear heart, of this large privilege; 
The hardest knife ill-used doth lose his edge.

I Wanna Hold You Till the Fear In Me Subsides

Blicky's food hadn't been touched in over a week, so my first thought was coyotes. Luckily, Blicky had merely been flown down by private jet to a high-level, emergency strategy meeting/cuddle session with Karl Rove. It seems they had a lot of work to do after the resounding success of Obama's acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention on Thursday. They worked long into the night sometimes laughing, sometimes crying, sometimes listening to Dan Hill golden oldies. 

I don't know what exactly transpired but I found this memo in Blicky's handwriting crumpled in the recycling bin. I think this is Blicky's contribution to the Rove action plan for the remaining campaign season:

• Meow take over world meow,
  
• Instruct major networks to dismiss questions about Palin's child/grandchild, McCain's tasteless, sexist comments about his wife, and inappropriate joke about Chelsea Clinton and Janet Reno,
  
• Instruct network media to place their heads directly in front of the politicians during convention speeches so they can better stick to plot lines.
  
• Instruct media to make the coverage about the Clintons and the Hillary supporters rather than the issues.
  
• Remind news media that only republicans can be religious, war heros or true patriots.
  
• Think of more reasons why the Obamas are scary, meow.

Daddy Kitty had a very well-written comment posted in the comments of NY Times Frank Rich's recent critique of election coverage. "Regarding McCain's selection of Mrs. Palin, it is a cynical choice designed to attract middle class white voters, not just women. Get ready for the Chevy-like commercials featuring Palin and her hard-working, regular guy husband who embodies family values and epitomizes all that is good and noble about American manhood. It will play well in the Heartland and elsewhere. Biden was hired to go after this demographic, but once again Rove attacks a perceived Democratic strength."

Blicky Has Announced a Winner!

The staff at Blicky Kitty offered a free picture with Blicky himself for the winner of the 2008 Specious Political Email Contest, and were overwhelmed by the response. Entries flooded in from around the country and after weeks of searching a winner was selected. The winning entry possesses all of the qualities of facile rhetoric and sloppy prose we had hoped for. It has brilliant and subtle photo editing:

It uses fear and vague suggestions to inspire fear and, even better, it uses cute puppies to make its point. The cute puppy is a powerful rhetorical device first employed by the Sophists in Periclean Athens, Isocrates and then perfected by Aristotle:

Best of all our winner has included a realistic header so the email will seem to have been circulating for a while. Recognize any of the names in the email list?

------ Forwarded Message
From: Una Renard
Date: Sat, 09 Aug 2008 00:40:22 -0400
To: 
Conversation: My Vote is For Freedom
Subject: FWD: My Vote is For Freedom

Wow I don’t usually forward these things, but I can’t believe how the news media missed this one! Kitty hon, you should forward this too.

U

-------------- Forwarded Message: -------------- 
From: neoconpilot@aol.com
To: ipfreeley@aol.com, jfonda@amvets.org, anitahuginkiss@hotmail.com, ivanalife@aol.com, semourbutz@aol.com, jacquesstrap@aol.com, HomersessUL@cox.net, mikerotch@worldnet.att.net, hughjass@bellsouth.net, anitabath@cfl.rr.com, ollietabuger@cfl.rr.com, eurabigduty@alumni.rwu.edu, IPasswind@aol.com, BeaOproblem@fnbtc.net, OllieTadudey@cfl.rr.com, RLimbaugh@Slate.com, waylandsmithers@aol.com, charo@yale.edu, captainmerrill@loveboat.com, GaryColeman@wattUtalkinboutwillis.org, bobdenver@usdefense.gov, Ddscostew@attbi.net, bennyhill@parliament.uk.gov, 50cent@now.org, deneyterrio@harvard.edu, AFrankin@Americanenterpriseinstitute.org
Sent: 8/4/2008 12:33:35 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
Subj: My Vote is For Freedom

Wow it really makes you think! I’m really starting to think of things a little differently. PS. Pass this along to everyone you know!

Click here to request a free copy of the 2008 Specious Email Award Winner and forward it to the conservatives in your clowder. Together we can see just how far misinformation can travel!

Infidel

Over a year after everyone else has already read and processed Ayaan Hirsi Ali's memoir, Infidel, Blicky finally finished reading it. While it is not light, it is gripping and important reading for anyone in this country.

Hirsi Ali became the object of a fatwa after collaborating with Theo Van Gogh on a short film called Submission which criticizes not only Muslim culture but Islam at its source. Here's a link to the 60 Minutes segment on her. Part of the power of her prose and her rhetoric is its unflinching honesty. Her story is sometimes difficult to read, as she describes her circumcision, having her skull fractured by her Quran teacher or as she relates her forced marriage. I was uncomfortable as I read the description of her film that began a political firestorm in Holland and throughout the Muslim world. 

I have made a point of getting to know Muslims and asking questions about their faith. The issues I kept coming back to with my Muslim friends and never received a satisfactory answer for were the same ones she raises in her book; Islam's denial of basic human rights for women and homosexuals and pervasive culture of anti-semitism. People with whom I have shared meals and many hours conversations have stated plainly that homosexuals deserve to be killed, that the Holocaust never happened or insist that honor killings only occur among radical fringes of Muslim society. Men whom I have considered family friends have wives that must leave the room anytime a male enters.

Nontheless I confess I wished for a gentler conclusion while reading the life journey of this majestic and brilliant woman. I had hoped she wouldn't forsake or insult her faith and that she would be able to promote change from within the framework of her religious doctrine. But I came to realize that my need top be open-minded and to accept Islam was patronizing. Why didn't I feel the same discomfort when I read Elie Wiesel's The Trial of God or the ideas of Enlightenment thinkers like Descartes, Voltaire or John Locke? In overlooking human rights violations are we somehow holding the Muslim world to lower standards of tolerance and reason? 

But how do we reconcile Hirsi Ali's critique of her own culture with Edward Said's ideas? He wrote that "So far as the United States seems to be concerned, it is only a slight overstatement to say that Moslems and Arabs are essentially seen as either oil suppliers or potential terrorists. Very little of the detail, the human density, the passion of Arab-Moslem life has entered the awareness of even those people whose profession it is to report the Arab world. What we have instead is a series of crude, essentialized caricatures of the Islamic world presented in such a way as to make that world vulnerable to military aggression." He contended that Europeans, because of their colonial dominance have in essence "written Asia’s past and constructed its modern identities from a perspective that takes Europe as the norm, from which the 'exotic', 'inscrutable' Orient deviates. There is the danger that Ayaan Hirsi Ali's insights can be appropriated by the political right in this country to justify the war in Iraq. I know Blicky is already circulating an email that accuses Obama of beating his wife and argues that the only way to affect change in the Arab world is by " continuing to spread democracy" indefinitely in Iraq. Hirsi Ali's present job with the American Enterprise Institute, who were the primary architects of the He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named administration's foreign policy raises this as a distinct concern.

With our history of colonial and cultural domination we, as non-Muslims in the US, are simply not in a position to criticize Islam. If, as Ali hopes, Arab society is to undergo its own Enlightenment, the only meaningful influence must come from within Islamic culture. She has a beautiful and inspiring faith of the power of the humanities, truth and democracy to save people and societies. I hope that this new faith she has found done not leave her disillusioned and betrayed in the same way her old one did.

Come on Baby...Don't Fear the Reaper

I spent a long night in the bushes at Cheech Air Force Base (do they plant poison ivy there on purpose?) with my trusty telephoto lens and my high speed film, but I finally have the proof I need to confront Blicky. Our relationship has really been strained since he accepted that defense contract, but I never realized how high-level his work really was.

Apparently he was the lead engineer for the new remote control fighter-bomber aircrafts known as unmanned aerial vehicles, or UAVs. When asked about the effectiveness of the virtual cockpit, pilots could not comment because they were too busy making "eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh" gun noises, "jjjjjrrrreeeeeeooooww" airplane swoops and pweeeooooouuu" explosion sounds. I finally confronted Blicky with this new project because I really felt he was betraying our family's ideals about peace. I feel so much better now though because he explained that the new technology will reduce deaths on bombing missions in Afghanistan.

Then I asked him, "But Blicky, doesn't this new technology just remove us from the violent impact or our weapons? What about Afghan civilians? Doesn't this just further distance us from the human victims of our actions, be it US or foreign, whom we have already deemed as 'other,' inferior and somehow less human? It doesn't strike you as a little eerie that our news media is extolling the wonders of an air-conditioned command center for these 'armchair pilots' who can drive to work and use weapons dubbed "Reaper" and "Predator" to kill other human beings from 7,500 away?" Blicky responded "Mao, look something shiny!" then ran away.

Win your picture taken with Blicky!

The email rumor mills are off and running! I have gotten a few email forwards lately from some relatives in our clowder who live in conservative retirement communities.

So let's jump into the fray! At least we'll balance things a bit. Winning entries will be about any candidate except Obama and will be lavishly forwarded by the Blicky Kitty staff in conservative retirement communities.

Blicky has agreed to have his picture taken with the winner.

I've discovered a few good things that go into a good email rumor: 

1) Use an unflattering picture of your target and crop it weird. It makes them look shady -- like they've been caught by a private detective.

2) Use fonts to punctuate each point because your audience might not read and because they might resent your elitist good grammar.

3) Use fear to make your argument, then make a gigantic illogical leap. For example: John McCain is pro-life, he is against gay marriage (do a Google search to bolster your list of examples or just make some up and lie about the news source, like "he was quoted by NBC as saying he hates America") and he was against the granting of habeas corpus to prisoners of war. Therefore (gigantic illogical leap), JOHN McCAIN HATES FREEDOM. Hey... wait a second, terrorists hate freedom. Oh my God! JOHN McCAIN IS A TERRORIST!!! Your font size and color should go nutty at this point. If you could make it flash and put in any cute dancing animals that would be a bonus. 

4) Now would be a good place to throw in any photo edits you're able to generate -- such as your target strangling a kitten. Don't worry if your skills at Photoshop aren't as subtle and sophisticated as mine. It just takes practice.

5) You should always end a good email by telling them that they should forward this to everyone they know or they will contract an incurable, painful, fatal illness by midnight.

Please email your entries to BlickyKitty@comcast.net.

The "Real" Tuscany

If someone tells me to read one more self-indulgent, rhapsodic travel novel set in Tuscany I think I'm going to hurl something at their head. First of all, I lived there for three years. That means that Tuscany is mine, mine, mine-all mine. I ate the real Tuscany, I slept with the real Tuscany and Senator, you are no real Tuscany.

 

The second thing that bugs me about those books is that Tuscany is portrayed as a back-drop for the deep soul-searching finding yourself narrative that people would sneer at had it occurred in a kitchen in Jersey. They describe quaint old Italian men who were put on the earth with the sole purpose of smiling wistfully and respectfully while some bored, wealthy housewife "finds herself" near the vinyard he works in. But let me tell you, that quaint old man is more likely to interrupt your run by trying to offer you wine and if you did actually stop he'd probably grab your boob.

The Tuscans I know don't think Americans are so cool anyway. The WWII generation was completely besotted with all things American after our studly perform

ance trouncing the Nazis. Let's be real. Nazis suck and we kicked their Hinterteile. My friend Luisa remembers eating cat (maaaoooo interjects Blicky), and her brother, a partigiano, died in the resistance. They were probably so grateful that their children rebelled and embraced communism with a vengeance. Most dinner tables seem idyllic to the tourist in Italy, especially if you don't speak the language. We imagine them discussing things like "oh isn't family so important?" and "I'm really so happy I spent all morning making your homemade pasta because I don't want a job." But if you're part of the discussion, chances are good that you'll have to answer for electing George Bush, whether we let people die if they don't have health care, why we let children have guns, or why we condone the death penalty. Many people you meet have known hunger and violence of war and they don't understand how we can undertake it so lightly.

Is Tuscany a good place for self discovery? Yes, and some rhapsodizing has it's place when you're admiring the cathedrals in Lucca, the Uffizi in Florence or the view from Fiesole. But there's also some real opportunity for self reflection beyond your traditional garden-variety type. We as a country have a lot to learn about what matters in life and what matters in a society.