Positive Spin: The Upside to Our Mortality

Well we've almost returned to normalcy on the Blicky homestead. Blicky was quite bereft all weekend after hearing about the loss of his friend, colleague, mentor and lover Jesse Helms. I have to admit at first I was uncomfortable with Blicky's reaction. I mean I always thought Jesse Helms was a racist, fear-mongering homophobe. Bill Hick's elegant, subtle diatribes always gave me the impression that he might not be a very nice man.

Well thanks to Fox News I now feel so much better. How relieved I was to learn that he was a "Giant of American Freedom."

I think I must have just heard it wrong when he argued against the Kennedy Hatch AIDS bill in 1988 by saying "There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy."

Perhaps I was experiencing a hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucination and only thought I was reading a quote from a 1950's senate race: "White people, wake up before it is too late. Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races."

Maybe I unknowingly suffered a head injury or too much blood went into my head during my last crow pose or something because I thought at late as 1981 the New York Times quoted him as saying "Crime rates and irresponsibility among Negroes are a fact of life which must be faced."

Good ol' Fox News always makes me feel so much better. From what I can gather it's really only his political opponents who think he's a racist bigot. Gotta go now, it's hot out and our central air is broken so I have to park the Hummer near the front door and crank the AC up to cool the house.