Sunday, October 19, 2008

Blicky Scores Interview with David McCullough, Author of 1776

I don't know why Blicky is so well connected, but he seems to know everyone. He walked in and deposited this surprising interview at my feet this morning.

Blicky Kitty: Meow just done reading 1776. Good meow.
David McCullough: Thank you Blicky.
BK: Meow, if Gordon Brown and Elisabeth get really mad at President Palin and decide to invade us and make us part of England again and call underwear knickers and dinner supper and bathroom loo and make us eat aubergines and courgettes and not invade any more countries and stuff, and we were able to reconstruct George Washington using DNA from wooden teeth, whom would he choose to help him defend this country if he could only pick two? Maybe all his men were preserved cryogenically in some magical steampunky thing and he got to pick. 

DM: Well, I get asked that a lot, and I always think if he had to pick two men it would have to be Nathanael Greene and Henry Knox. Henry Knox led the expedition from Cambridge MA up to Fort Ticonderoga to retrieve the cannons recently won there. He managed to complete the 300 mile trip in 56 days, carrying 59 cannon and mortars weighing a total of 60 tons over the winter ice and snow. The success of the expedition was credited to Knox's unflagging determination and his ever-present booming voice.
BK: Knox big stud?
DM: Well I guess so Blicky. There's no evidence that his wife Lucy Flucker thought so, but she was the daughter of loyalists and had to forsake her family to marry him.
BK: Flucker?
DM: Flucker.


BK: Nathanael Greene?
DM: Nathanael Greene was the commander of the Rhode Island regiment. He came from a quaker family and was largely self taught in all military matters. He served in the ranks briefly because he was initially denied the rank of officer because of a slight limp. The Rhode Islanders were the only regiment Washington never spoke of in disparaging terms.  Greene played a crucial role in the pivotal battle against the Hessians at Trenton which turned the course of the war.
BK: All sound pretty studly.
DM: Well I didn't come across anything in the 18th-century documents that supports studliness, but the determination that Washington and his men showed really turned the tide of the war during that pivotal year of 1776. The conditions were pretty difficult for all of the soldiers involved, and they really overcame quite sizeable odds.
BK: Thanks meow interview.
DM: OK, well, you promised to give me Doris Kearns Goodwin's number.
BK: Restraining order.
DM: Damn you, Blicky Kitty, damn you!

16 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

oh my god i LOVED this! Absolutely hysterical!

A very creative meow mix of questions.

MuseSwings said...

Blicky has earned some tuna treats with this over the top interview! I shall leave the History channel on all day to day in Blick's honor.

Poetikat said...

Ha ha ha ha! I'm still reeling over "Flucker". Can you imagine living with that name in this day and age.

Blicky, write this scene:

Joe Six-Pack meets Lucy Flucker in a bar. Go!

Kat

Blicky Kitty said...

Oh let's do it together round-robin I'll start:

Joe saw her immediately from across the bar... She was exactly the sort of woman he dreamed about meeting, loud, passionate and bewigged. He stumbled over to her knocking over a chair. As she watched him try repeatedly to get back up hurling expletives at the barkeep, it occurred to her that she liked her men the way she liked her salted mutton, really strong and really coarse.

Lavinia said...

Thanks for the interesting history lesson. Some unique and interesting names sprinkled in here!

Debby said...

She teased him with a flash of ankle and arched her back slightly to set her cleavage in an agreeable manner. He didn't notice, still cursing the barkeep and picking sawdust from his teeth, and trying to set his own wig aright.

Poetikat said...

"What's yer name?" he asked with great aplomb.
"Lucy," she replied, batting her lashes coyly.
"Ya picked a fine time ta leave me, Lucy", he said. "Dyou know that one?"

She blinked at him bewildered, but smiled sweetly and replied,

"Why, I don't think I do."

"It's a good one!" He burped and wiped the back of his bristly mouth with his plaid sleeve.

A Cuban In London said...

Thanks, blicky, could we have you as part of the House of Representatives now, please :-)?

Greetings from London.

Anna Lefler said...

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Your newest fan,

Anna

MuseSwings said...

It was a manly burp, started low and ended lower. Lucy tried one herself, but the effect was lost in the din of the darts game. Big Luigi just scored 600.
Lucy twirled daintily about on her bar stool, being careful not to snag her fishnet hose on the torn naugahide. She tossed her hair and it resettled in a golden haze about her. The Blatz Premium Lite sign above the bar flashed green higlights into her coif. Big Big Luigi's eyes settled on her. He adjusted his undershirt so it covered the majority of his protruding belly and said:

Blicky Kitty said...

"You guys look rully rully familiar."

Unsure if he meant her agreeable amplitude of cleavage, or if he was merely seeing double, she looked down to see Joe finally finding his way into the seat next to her.

"Lucy's with me Luigi. I was just going to ask her something."

He leveled a long, lascivious gaze, and as he leaned over, the scent of sweat, stale beer and yesterday's beef jerky wafted into her delicate nostrils. He began to whisper. She turned pink, then red, then dark crimson. He braced himself for a hard slap, but instead she cried out.
"Why dear sir, how did you come to learn my surname?

willow said...

This was too cute! I love Doris Kearns Goodwin, BTW.

Your kitty must be from the same part of the country as Mr. Rogers' Henrietta Pussycat. They have the same accent.

MuseSwings said...

For the first time since 2nd grade Joe was speachless. He took a swig of his beer to clear his head. Lucy thonked the bottom of his glass. Beer dribbled down Joes chin. I asked you a question Joe - HOW do you know my surname? And BTW, Mister it's pronounced flooker.
Joe took another sip of beer and shelled a peanut. Ate the peanut, took another sip of beer, examined another peanut, shelled it, ate it, brushed the shell casings off his natty green and orange plaid plus fours. He...

Blicky Kitty said...

...stared open-mouthed as a large, elderly tory woman appeared at the door and strode purposefully toward them.

"Lucy, dear what on earth are you doing in here, consorting with the rabble? The rebels are known to frequent this establishment and I will not have you sully our good name."

Joe finally spat out, "Are you? Could it be?"

Luigi chimed in "Oh yes, that's Lucy's mum: Mother Flucker."

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